The Dragon

I wonder how many times has it been,

That I've imagined myself as death, destroyer of worlds,

Summoning suffer and pain while my face grins,

With my heart ever so joyous and keen.

An imagination of a child? No, it is not.

It's how everyone's head feels when it's hot,

Especially when you feel like punching your boss's face,

Or being abused for no reason from that horrible place,

Or when your patience just snapped releasing the rage.

Should I be like the fire?

The flame that hungrily consume everything in its path,

I may be slow in moving but I am full of wrath,

Especially when they scream in fear so intense,

Fueling me up scorching the heat bringing the menace, 

Like me, some men just want to watch the world burn.

Or should I be like the water?

The flood that rains down souvenirs of sadness of mine,

I may not be threatening at first but in time,

They shall be drenched in depression then drown in the abyss,

Icing their hearts with the frost of kiss,

Leaving them cold and restless makes me bliss.

Or maybe I should be like the wind?

The hurricane that blows and throws you like a rag doll, 

I may randomly move around and miss but when I don't,

They shall taste the twisting vortex of the tornado,

Ripping and silencing out their cries into nevermore, 

No...that's not enough, a thunderstorm is needed to strike your soul.

Or perhaps I should be like the earth?

The quake that violently shakes your pride and foundation,

I may not grab you in the air but how long can you hold?

Forced to watch those around you crumble the young and old,

 Falling into the mouths of tremors collecting tolls,

Even the haven you're in shall tremble into the black hole.

But in the end no matter how many times I envision it,

I just could not deliver my vengeful spirit,

and I choose not to,

For my perseverance and patience withholds me from self-destructing,

It's for the sake of my heart to be joyous and keen.

Letum

When I started this blog, I always have different drawings on my blog's header every five months or so. But however, I could't get anymore inspiration to draw some more. So that's why I decided to put up this piece of simple artwork 'Letum' which is the first thing you see in my blog.

Before I tell you my story of Letum, I've been taking a long break from blogging due to hectic school work. And I must thank whoever made this time table because my free week is connected to today's Labour Day, I finally got to rest a lot before I go back to Curtin ><

Anyway, this drawing is one of my earliest artwork for as long I can remember. I was first inspired by the rose drawing from Disney's Beauty and the Beast, it was on a story book that I had (I can't find it anymore), but bless Google so I can show you how it looks like in the first place.

Whoever drew it must be pretty emo too lol

I guess it was out of boredom that I decided to mirror it and I first drew a draft and it turned out like this.

Yeap, that's my secondary school name tag haha

And about the name, I did not have a name for it after it was complete. Actually I probably forgot what was the original name for it before Letum came along, maybe it was called Black Rose or something (so cliche). 

The name Letum in Latin means death, which was discovered by my bro and it totally suits my drawing's theme. But I only decided to use the name Letum on it like last year or the year before, before that I was using the name in my DotA days as my in-game nick, which was pretty badass and cool because it being a Latin word also totally suits that kind of ancient mythology environment too. 

The final draft

The design wasn't made in the first place, it didn't have any random white stripes all over it too, I decided to have it like that coz it looked like it has scratches on it. And I purposely drew the four corner pointy petals like that so it looks kinda devilish. And I also remembered that when I asked my friends what did they think about my drawing, one of them even said the flower looks like there's a person trapped in the middle which wasn't my intention, but still cool and interesting that different people have different views on it. One thing I like about it is that the name can be applied to both male and female (though I think it suits better for a female's persona), so I've been using the name Letum a lot recently in my games again especially in my pokemon games on a female character (lol).

Oh I just remembered that my inspiration has actually made me draw two different kinds of flowers, Letum is the second design. So what about the first? Hmm...some other time.

Someday.

The Memorandum

Whatever reason you did that to her,

Is unforgivable and selfish, 

Everyone is wishing you will suffer,

Like getting dragged by the flames below,

Or get tortured in the abyss of hollow.

An idea of a remorseful punishment for eternity,

Is that her face will forever be in his memory, 

So it can haunt him as long as he breathes,

Even in his afterlife it shall not go un-seethe.

However keep this in mind my friends,

You must not hold dearly of this pain,

Move on and live so you won't meet the end,

I am a Christian so I should not condemn him,

And pray that God bless her soul and his sin...

...At least that's what I think she would want.

The Silencer...The Rage

So cold...I hated it,

I hated that he made those four frozen walls,

Even though he didn't really need it,

I sighed because he was still young afraid to fall,

But maybe one day he will need my help,

So I waited inside his frosted heart to melt.

So long...I held it,

I held all the red thoughts from his sounds of silence,

Stubborn about the mistakes you won’t admit,

Yet you always try to fit into the residence, 

Damn boy, don’t you see you’re fooling yourself?

Stop craving for attention you wannabe elf.

So lost...I felt it,

I felt that he was at his limit of the edge,

With hope crushed sinking in the pit,

I had to pull himself together over the ledge,

But even so, he still refused to acknowledge me,

So foolish! What is it that he still can't see? 

SoFool…he named it,

He said it was for GunBound but I think otherwise,

But then again he started to change bit by bit,

I guess he learned something from the thorns and lies,

Well what’s life without pain right?

Come to think about it…this room has become really white. 

So far…he’s living it,

For so long being the silencer roaming around,

With many thoughts of “I quit.”

He didn’t because I won’t back down,

Now redeemed and headstrong,

I can let go all of the rage and move on.

My Wish

Every year we all have new year resolutions and wishes,
You wish you will be a boss following the footsteps of your father,
He wishes that he will be a super hero when he grows up,
She wishes that she will be a famous actress or be a good mother,
Well...we wish all sort of stuff like winning a World Cup.

There are times that I wish I was a progamer, and it's true it will take forever to reach to the top level of the South Koreans' level. Unlike Malaysia, they are blessed with a gaming culture and facilities for their training, they have sponsors supporting their leagues and even the games are broad casted live on television where thousands of young screaming fans come and cheer for their heroes. If I have enough money, I would fly to there now at participate the 3rd and 4th season of Global StarCraft 2 League right now since I'm having my semester break. Heck knowing myself I would put all my blood sweat and tears to win, even if I lose at least I would put on a good show to entertain the crowd, representing Malaysia with pride and for the Swarm as SoFool.

There are times that I wish I was a rock star, I have always dreamed about being one because I love rock. In Malaysia, doing a music business is tough because of piracy is. Many look down on the profession thinking they are just hobbies and a waste of time, leaving out the rockers out living a hard life unable to have a good time with the fans like in Rock Am Ring. I have dreamed myself playing some of my favourite popular rock songs as if they were my own, having my own independent rock band because we don't want to be commercialized by the music label limiting what we want for our fans. We would sell our songs and albums through iTunes (or other similar programmes) and our website for any price that our fans want to pay, it worked really well for Radiohead so why not? We would interact and keep in touch with the fans to represent what they feel through the internet as a rock band who reach out to the troubled youths.

There are times that I wish I worked in Blizzard Entertainment, being a sc geek I can help the development team for the sc2 franchise's story and direction. I can help on how to make Zerg and Protoss concept and design badass as Terran's, I can tell them why making it into a trilogy with each race of their own product is a bad idea, because they should just go on with the usual three race linear story line with the new game play mechanic, and still go ahead with the trilogy which is an even awesome idea and gift for the fans. I can also help to promote e-Sports within South East Asia, starting in Singapore since there is already a Blizzard HQ there. Unfortunately in Malaysia, the majority don't see the potential and strength of the gaming industry and e-Sports, as it is a fact that the gaming industry earns more than the movie and music industry combined. I wish to be like Boxer who made e-Sports possible and a sc2 forum moderator who talks to the fans often as a proud Blizzard employee.

There are times that I wish I was a football player, I'm not talking about playing the big leagues like the Primiera La Liga, Italian Serie A or English Premier League, although it would be really sweet. I like football and played a lot of games with my friends during my high school years even if it mean skipping class. Although there are some nice love for the game in Malaysia, but nobody really watch the leagues because of the lack of audience since they suck, heck we even need an entire country just to face a football club. One of the things that I deeply regret not doing in my university years is declining Ralph's offer to join a football club, because I wanted to focus on my studies and save my family's car patrol cost being a cheap person that I am. If I didn't decline I would have a sport to play together with my friends instead of slowing losing contact with them, and most importantly I would continue my tradition and reputation terrorizing the right and left wing as the Speed Demon.

There are times that I wish I was a film maker, actually I'm considered one since that's what I do in my course. But I just don't have the equipments to do them because they are so freaking expensive, actually I wasn't really into film making until a few months ago when Mr Rama resigned, one of my regrets is not joining the filming competition with Curtin because chances like that don't come often. Pursuing a film making career in Malaysia is another problem because of piracy (tight budget) and its strict religious law, they want us to censor so many “inappropriate” things like kissing (gosh you pussies). Makoto Shinkai and Wong Fu Production are my main inspiration for film making, I want to make videos and create meanings to send a message with my camera (which I don't have), I will post them on my YouTube account and share all the crazy and funny stuff, mind blowing and sugoi (it's a Japanese thing when something awesomely meaningful moment happens) scenes with my brother for the people and especially my friends who don't know how to entertain themselves as ebiL Entertainment.

So here I am now stuck with my neck tied with a leash,
Unable to make them happen since it's obviously beyond my reach,
I know that I'm possibly not alone and the only one who's like this,
I also know I'm not suppose to be a loser giving up on my wish list.

But hey I'm fine being a gamer or a footballer with no fame,
Blizzard and the entertainment industry?
Heh they're just waiting for me you see,
So in the mean time I'll just be a fan and support them,
Because in a way they are representing me for what I am ^^