Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

5 Kilometers Per Hour

"They say it travels at five kilometers per hour." she said.

He then looked at her with eyes wide opened, but not so obvious from her view. 

"It's going to the Minamitane launch facility." she continued, 
"Looks like there'll be a launch this year. First time in a while."


As the gigantic semi-trailer truck slowly passed by them, he then added 
"Yeah. It's supposed to go to the far reaches of the solar system."

"No matter how many years it takes..."

- A scene from the second arc of 5 Centimeters Per Second

As the year of the dragon ends tonight, I decided to check out what my facebook has to show me about my top 20 moments (life events, highlighted posts and popular stories) of this year. Turns out it was just full of sht and actually missed out my dramatic bed time story of this year. Sigh, fb y u dunno? 

Why is this post called 5 kilometers per hour, is not only is a reference to my fav movie 5 Centimeter Per Second. But also because during the whole year, life felt very slow and sometimes the things you faced or you're facing now can be done with. 5 km/h is indeed very slow, but eventually everyone will reach the finish line.

No matter how many years it takes.


There goes a Chinese belief that when a child of a (insert any Chinese animal zodiac) goes into the same Chinese animal zodiac year. It's usually bad luck. And me being a dragon in this year of the dragon. Boy did I have one heck of a roller coaster ride.

First and foremost, I am really grateful to God that I've finally finished my studies. Away with the books and useless theories that are rarely applied in life. I've always hated studying, but nonetheless I learn a lot from my course. If there're a few things I learn from Mass Communication and Marketing, it's 
  1. Marketing taught me how to make people buy the things they don't need.
  2. People tend to believe things online without doing research.
  3. The media is a powerful double edge sword.
  4. People are really taking media for granted. Btches pls, if we didn't exist you won't be able to watch your favourite tv shows and movies.
Overall, people are generally stupid. 

To my friends who are struggling with their academic performance, I believe in you. Life's a constant struggle, so stay strong and "burn" all the exam papers enemies that are to come. No matter how many years it takes.


Secondly, I also went through the test of friendship with many people. And I learned that the reason why I prefer to be quiet most of the time is not because I'm too lazy to say anything, it's because my tongue is also like a poison barb. The moment someone say anything contradicting or something that does not contribute to a potential meaningful discussion to learn, or something that they say they will do it but never came to be for 3 times in a row and giving lame excuses, I shoot them indirectly with or without realizing it.  

To those who were hurt by my statements before intentionally, I'M REALLY SORRY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART...that you're too egoistically stupid to cover up your lack of intelligence and honesty. I tried being really nice to tolerate their actions, but really sometimes they need a slap in their face to realize their bad habit and fix it.

Nobody likes losing friends of course, been there done that. I'm over that phase years ago, so to be honest I'm not sad to lose someone who cannot put up with me (not implying that I have a serious attitude problem btw haha), there's no reason to. However, to end a friendship like that is still sad. And to my former right hand, I prolly kinda screwed up the final cherry tree chapter and I apologized for the really mean things I said, but you should know why I did that because of your repeated bad habits. Not really sure if you read that msg in Skype or not, I dunno about you but I feel more peaceful now. So yeah, the show must go on.

No matter how many years it takes.


And lastly, about my third fall from the tree and being haunted by it. Actually, there is a third and final sequel to sum up this trilogy cherry tree story. And it's so mind blowing that if I could I would really want to blog about it but...hmm...I dunno, felt like it actually hasn't ended yet or I'm pretty sure it already did. Anyway All I can tell you guise and girls is that things didn't work out, the truth was also revealed, and I've yet to receive a sincere apology from the both of them in person. If you want to know the full details, pm me and I shall tell you the final chapter.

Back to the dialogue at the start of this post, the reason why the male character had his eyes wide opened (like a sudden realization moment) was because when he was with his first love. She said something similar which is, 

"They say it's five centimeters per second." she said.

Puzzled, the boy asked "Huh? What is?"

She then answered
"The speed at which cherry blossoms fall. It's five centimeters per second."

They say that, everyone struggle the most to get over their first relationship. But I beg to differ, actually in fact it is their first love (which happens to be their first relationship most of the time) that everyone struggle the most to get over with. I can understand that very well, since she was the one that I truly loved the most among the three maidens with their ever glowing aura including her. I actually really hoped for a sweet good ending for this end of the year, I have written wonderful scripts for several occasions. But unfortunately, she had written several different ideas to the script as well. Which left a bitter mark on the ending. 

Just like this one.
Despite the bitter ending, it's still a better love story than twirite.

And with the curtains closed, there's no more reason to stay on the stage anymore.
Tears with no cheers and a single rose, one must still take a bow and exit the door.
For the lessons learn from this act, I shall be firm as an anchor and face the coming war.
No matter how many years it takes.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

My Wish

Every year we all have new year resolutions and wishes,
You wish you will be a boss following the footsteps of your father,
He wishes that he will be a super hero when he grows up,
She wishes that she will be a famous actress or be a good mother,
Well...we wish all sort of stuff like winning a World Cup.

There are times that I wish I was a progamer, and it's true it will take forever to reach to the top level of the South Koreans' level. Unlike Malaysia, they are blessed with a gaming culture and facilities for their training, they have sponsors supporting their leagues and even the games are broad casted live on television where thousands of young screaming fans come and cheer for their heroes. If I have enough money, I would fly to there now at participate the 3rd and 4th season of Global StarCraft 2 League right now since I'm having my semester break. Heck knowing myself I would put all my blood sweat and tears to win, even if I lose at least I would put on a good show to entertain the crowd, representing Malaysia with pride and for the Swarm as SoFool.

There are times that I wish I was a rock star, I have always dreamed about being one because I love rock. In Malaysia, doing a music business is tough because of piracy is. Many look down on the profession thinking they are just hobbies and a waste of time, leaving out the rockers out living a hard life unable to have a good time with the fans like in Rock Am Ring. I have dreamed myself playing some of my favourite popular rock songs as if they were my own, having my own independent rock band because we don't want to be commercialized by the music label limiting what we want for our fans. We would sell our songs and albums through iTunes (or other similar programmes) and our website for any price that our fans want to pay, it worked really well for Radiohead so why not? We would interact and keep in touch with the fans to represent what they feel through the internet as a rock band who reach out to the troubled youths.

There are times that I wish I worked in Blizzard Entertainment, being a sc geek I can help the development team for the sc2 franchise's story and direction. I can help on how to make Zerg and Protoss concept and design badass as Terran's, I can tell them why making it into a trilogy with each race of their own product is a bad idea, because they should just go on with the usual three race linear story line with the new game play mechanic, and still go ahead with the trilogy which is an even awesome idea and gift for the fans. I can also help to promote e-Sports within South East Asia, starting in Singapore since there is already a Blizzard HQ there. Unfortunately in Malaysia, the majority don't see the potential and strength of the gaming industry and e-Sports, as it is a fact that the gaming industry earns more than the movie and music industry combined. I wish to be like Boxer who made e-Sports possible and a sc2 forum moderator who talks to the fans often as a proud Blizzard employee.

There are times that I wish I was a football player, I'm not talking about playing the big leagues like the Primiera La Liga, Italian Serie A or English Premier League, although it would be really sweet. I like football and played a lot of games with my friends during my high school years even if it mean skipping class. Although there are some nice love for the game in Malaysia, but nobody really watch the leagues because of the lack of audience since they suck, heck we even need an entire country just to face a football club. One of the things that I deeply regret not doing in my university years is declining Ralph's offer to join a football club, because I wanted to focus on my studies and save my family's car patrol cost being a cheap person that I am. If I didn't decline I would have a sport to play together with my friends instead of slowing losing contact with them, and most importantly I would continue my tradition and reputation terrorizing the right and left wing as the Speed Demon.

There are times that I wish I was a film maker, actually I'm considered one since that's what I do in my course. But I just don't have the equipments to do them because they are so freaking expensive, actually I wasn't really into film making until a few months ago when Mr Rama resigned, one of my regrets is not joining the filming competition with Curtin because chances like that don't come often. Pursuing a film making career in Malaysia is another problem because of piracy (tight budget) and its strict religious law, they want us to censor so many “inappropriate” things like kissing (gosh you pussies). Makoto Shinkai and Wong Fu Production are my main inspiration for film making, I want to make videos and create meanings to send a message with my camera (which I don't have), I will post them on my YouTube account and share all the crazy and funny stuff, mind blowing and sugoi (it's a Japanese thing when something awesomely meaningful moment happens) scenes with my brother for the people and especially my friends who don't know how to entertain themselves as ebiL Entertainment.

So here I am now stuck with my neck tied with a leash,
Unable to make them happen since it's obviously beyond my reach,
I know that I'm possibly not alone and the only one who's like this,
I also know I'm not suppose to be a loser giving up on my wish list.

But hey I'm fine being a gamer or a footballer with no fame,
Blizzard and the entertainment industry?
Heh they're just waiting for me you see,
So in the mean time I'll just be a fan and support them,
Because in a way they are representing me for what I am ^^

Friday, September 26, 2008

My Insomnia

Recently when I go to bed...
I just can't sleep for maybe an hour or so.

Every night my mind just replays my
young days when I was in St Joe.

I feel like my skull has already burst with those red thoughts.

You know the usual, "If only I did this, if only I did that."

Things would be really different if I took another road.
But even if I did...will my character be like today?

Definitely not.

The future is sure scary when you don't know what's coming.
I mean, anything can happen right?

But I guess that's what makes life kinda fun sometimes...
because it's unpredictable.

Not unless if we go on our lives with the same routine everyday,
it gets meaningless doing the same thing over & over again.

Even though I do know what's my purpose on this filthy planet,
I'm being held back by all this crappy uni work.

I bet working people do feel the same too,
they wake up, go to work, eat, work again
& come back to do whatever they want.
What a boring life.

Maybe not for couples...
because they give each other love to go on,
but just for how long?

Couples that seem impossible to break is not surprising anymore,
I've seen plenty around my friends.

Come to think about it...
everything we do here is kinda useless,
Cause those things can't come with us.

Does God even care what you do in your daily lives?

Yes of course, He does love you after all.
Like any couple the boyfriend will always want
to know what did his girlfriend do today right?

...thinking more about this makes me feel dull,
maybe because I don't have anyone to share my life with.

...except God. *cough*you stalker*cough*

But I also guess this what my bro talked about,
when you do something for someone,
your life feels more complete.
...and more joy.

Kinda brings back all my silly crushes in my school life.

If my life have a save & load function to correct my mistakes...


I could/would be with her until now...

I could be one of the top students in St Joe...

I would have be more G.S. earlier...

I would have gotten my driving license earlier...

I could be one of the leaders in the prefect board...

I would have written proper english in my first blog...

I would be the AFC captain for 4 straight years...

I would have taken up Bible Knowledge for SPM...

I would have played other music
instruments besides guitar earlier...

I could have been in the english drama team...

I would have pwned every runner in
the 100m track race for 5 straight years...

and a lot more...but lastly,

I wouldn't have to dream about her almost every night too...
it haunts me, really...actually even if she was with me.
I'll prolly dream about her almost every night anyway.


But on second thought...I'm glad there's no save & load function,
because I can laugh about it when I grow old +)