The One

A faint clap of thunder, clouded skies, perhaps rain comes. 

If so, will you stay here with me? 

A faint clap of thunder, even if rains comes not, 

I will stay here together with you, even in death, 

In the last house on the left.

While the sun sets in awhile more, 

Let us cuddle together from the silver pour, 

Here take my sweater which my mother once wore, 

And could you tell me a bedtime lore?

Perhaps, but while we're still in between dusk & dawn, 

Should we play together at the see-saw before I'm gone? 

Or we can spook the little ones who are still up late at night, 

Even with the lights on, a good fright they shall have from left to right.

A spark of light approaches, twilight skies, surely dawn comes,

Dearest, will you stay here with me? 

A spark of light, even if it scorches, 

Yes, I will still stay here together with you, 

Even in the deepest ocean, I will bring you the horizon, 

You are my potion, my emotion for you will never be frozen.

Thank you dearest, whilst here comes the shining,
I find myself slowly fading, 

We'll surely meet again by the well before spring.

Tell me, a soft kiss of flakes, cold skies, winter is coming,
If so, will you still go out with me?

A soft kiss of flakes, even if winter comes not,

Trust me, I will find you, you're all that I've got. 

The Dreaming

Do you know that you laugh a lot?
And every time you do, time just stops,
Like right now, my heart just went 'pop'.

You can't hear it now, that's okay,
But you're really taking my breath away,
What sorcery are you using that got me swayed?
Is this the day and the way?
God knows, and only you have the say.

That was what I said to her in my dream,
Hello darkness, my old friend,

How have you been?

Don't misunderstand for being buried in the sand,
You know I'd still visit you when the moon rings,
Without having you to guide me with your hand.

Normally, people won't dare to step into the darkness,
But I, the odd one out, love walking in nothingness,
When crickets sing softly with the silence,
And where the wind and leaves collide,
Truly, a paradise for introverts to hide.

However, the state of being nocturnal,
Can prove to be detrimental,
For an illusion can become plural,
Then eventually becoming sempiternal.

But I shall fear no evil,
Even through the darkest valley,
The falling petals will guide me,
And the shepherd refreshes my soul,
Beside quiet waters calming my woes,
And lying down in green pastures,
Instead of having my feelings tortured.

Dusk has gone, here comes dawn,
I'm sorry but I must take my leave now,
No need to show me the door, I know how,
I appreciate your company,
However, I have to go back to my reality,

I'm not sure when will we meet again,

Maybe next time when I'm in pain,

Or perhaps singing in the rain,
But just remember my name,
So you'd always be a part of my sane.

Here I am again looking at you laughing,
No longer dreaming, time's not stopping,
Only you and your smile are all I'm seeing,
Although you're unreachable, that's okay,
Maybe it's better this way,
And that's good enough to make my day.

Hey, I'll be okay (that's what I'd say).

The End

Ninie:

"Make a story about the ending of this horror,

with all of us as the main character"

"Ok, sure." said Abel.

Then right after that, 

The lights went out on his last message,

Blind as a bat,

She switched on her phone's flashlight for passage,

And navigated her way out...then like a typical horror movie,

Something ran across outside her door swiftly,

Was it a cat? 

She wondered...and felt it was quite creepy.

"Woof woof" Loki barked,

Strange...her dog rarely barks even at strangers,

"Ring ring" her phone rang,

Oh supi? It was her friend calling her,

"GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW" she shouted,

Supi...? Ninie of course startled,

"THERE'S NO TIME, JUST DO IT"

Confused with cold feet,

How does she expect her to overcome such deed?

But indeed she does need to heed,

And flee from this odd situation.

Wait a minute...Loki stopped barking,

She peeked out her window but nothing,

As if the whole neighbourhood was in a blackout,

But it was too dark for one without a doubt.

For some reason the more she stared,

The more uncomfortable she got,

Something's amiss..she was getting scared,

Using her phone to light through the blot,

She then realized the darkness..it was not,

But long strains of black hair...from above,

Upon realizing this she slowly tilt her head upwards,

Shaking with chills down her spine what's her body doing?

Her breathing began to intensify yet she kept going,

Until her flashlight shined at a pale forehead facing forward.

Ninie screamed and dropped her phone on the floor, 

She ran straight back to her room shutting the door,

Hiding herself under the blanket whimpering "no more",

What could get any worst than that? A sudden downpour. 

"Ring ring" her phone rang, 

Hold on...didn't she dropped her phone in the living room?

How can it be right here in her own hand?

Dup dup...dup dup...she hoped it will end soon,

She's too frighten of what's happening now, 

What was that? Where's Loki? Why did Supi call? Was that a skull?

"Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring..."

"GO AWAY" after Ninie picked it up,

"Ninie! We're coming to get you so hang on!"

Ivay? It has to be her, Ninie recognized her voice, 

"Ivay pls pls pls pls hurryyyy" Finally something to rejoice,

A sigh of relief she can rest a little bit easier,

And as a general rule of thumb for the night of terror, 

The phone ran out of juice..what a bummer.

"NO! NOT NOW. DAMN IT." Ninie pled,

Her hope now hanging on a thread, 

She has no choice now but to wait, 

And pray that they won't be late.

"Ring ring, ring ring" Wait...what?

Ninie didn't hesitate though

"Ivay?! Hello? Supi??"

"Hello Ninie, how do you like the story so far?"

"...huh?"

"I said, how do you like the story so far?"

"..Abel? ABEL! What do you mean??"

"Hush now, don't be so loud. It can hear you, hehe hehe"

"DAMN YOU! This is not FUNNY!!"

"Alright, gotta finish the story. Laters."

"Beep beep, beep beep"

Ninie's friends were already outside her house, 

She quickly dashed out of there like a mouse, 

And like any female running in fright of the unknown, 

She fell down on her own,

The girls were shouting at her to be quick,

And got up she did in a flick,

Into the car as if they have just robbed a bank,

Unbeknownst to the girls while getting away,

Ninie caught a limping figure at the rear view mirror, 

Dressed in white with long black hair and hollow in gray,

The creature abnormally teetered closer and faster,

Oh the anxiety...a nightmare worst than the doll from Child's Play.

The next thing Ninie could remember was pitch black, 

"Where...am I?" she wondered feeling some pain on her back,

"Ninie?" a voice? Who? She slowly opened her eyes,

"Ninie you're alright!" Lynda hugging her so tight,

"Lynda? I thought...where am I?" 

"You're in a hospital, we found you in the car last night

with Supi and Ivay but don't worry they're alright!"

Ninie looked around and saw the girls sleeping soundly on their bed,

With some minor injuries, there's still some migraine in her head.

"So how did you like the story?" Lynda asked,

Ninie's eyes widen and looked at her "Wha-what?"

"I said, how did you like the story?" 

Lynda now looks weird like she's wearing a smiley mask,

Ninie's mind is telling her "Run, run!" but her body doesn't have the guts,

"Well?" Lynda repeated again getting more eerie,

"No...it was Abel, Abel did this! That jerk!"

"..."

"I'm telling you, he-he did all this! He-"

"...such a disobedient child."

"No...no!"

"And disobedient children must be punished."

Lynda stood up and grabbed her arm,

Dragging her effortlessly on the tiles,

Ninie tried to free herself but she was too weak,

Could it be that Abel and her were working together all this while?

"Please, Lynda let me go. please..." begged Ninie with such meek, 

Ninie's squirming couldn't wake her friends up either, 

Lynda's strength was too much and it didn't seem to matter, 

The black tag clip on her wrist was hurting her too,

Wait...what's that black tag? She took a closer look,

And what she saw made her freeze turning blue,

"Dead on arrival" is what she read,

Lynda was wearing it too, and so were Supi and Ivay, 

"Hush now, child. He will now see you."

They were already at the elevator and it opened,

In there stood a person in a black rugged garment,

The face was covered, holding a brown book and a quill,

 A grim reaper in the flesh itself? Is this for real?

As Lynda dragged her inside the lift,

The figure's shadowed face suddenly shift,

"The...end." he mumbled while scribbling it down,

Ninie wailed but to no avail,
For the closing door have silenced her sound.

The Farewell

Hi all,

As some of you may know or not, today is my last day in SOP,

I thought of saying a simple goodbye to y'all but that's not me,
Instead of the typical thanks-for-everything and sorry, that's no fun,
Cause I like to be different so here I go writing you a special one.

For the newbies here who don't know me, hi there!
I used to take pics and write them newsletters, those were the memories SOP shared,

Check out the SOP Family history in the pic server, no memories were spared,
Please do continue to support the PR Unit on their events, not just stop and stare,
They work hard for your reward and viewing pleasure, show your love and care!

To my friends and colleagues, there there don't be sad,
We went through a lot didn't we? The ups and downs we had,

I know sometimes I didn't perform well, I sincerely apologize when you were mad,

But we patched up together, and I learn what I'm capable of too. That, I'm glad.

I hope I'm not taking too much of your time, but just hear me out a little while,

Though I'm excited to look forward to a new career, but I'll miss all your warm smiles,

As per SOP's tradition, I hope your family values for each other never go out of style,

Ok I think that's enough from me, so get back to work! (haha) and so long for now!

Bye all,

Abel Wong

The Introvert

There was a song that I heard in 1998,

It sings "And I don't want the world to see me,

Cause I don't think that they'd understand,"

Didn't really get it cause I was just a kid,

So I let it slid and by the time I did,

I wondered if it was too late to deflate,

the state of past hate that I've eaten on the plates,

And to put off the weight that was on my shoulders,

What do you think, fate?

I think you may or may not know that I'm an introverted person,

It doesn't mean I don't enjoy the outdoors though but over the seasons,

I've always preferred indoors after a day's work before my energy worsens,

I'm soft spoken as well but I will fight for what I believe in with reason,

Idealistic I am, my imaginations can come to life if given enough conviction,

Illuminating my visions of poetries like this or fan-fictions are my addiction,

In other words, the term "once a dreamer, always a dreamer" is the definite depiction.

Nothing really stops me when I'm decisive and strong-willed, 

Never for personal gain so why would I destroy something I build?

Needless to say, I do exhaust myself heavily if the task is unfulfilled, 

Nursing myself back alone is necessary to recharge before my soul peels,

Never mind me for my sudden retreat, my focus and goal are still instilled, 

Nauseated? Naw, but just don't put me back in corporate again I'll be killed. 

Finding the one hasn't really been easy for me either, 

For I don't really fancy casual hook ups and being a faker,

"Freak." they thought, yes I'm perfectionistic picky chooser, 

Forgive me for preferring a bond made of sincerity that endeavors, 

Facades and faults, I will embrace them openly and be your lover,      

Forget the feelings, it's the little moments that we should live for forever, 

Fall into my arms and let me fathom at your eyes as if they're made of amber. 

Just in case you've wondered why I don't talk much, 

Justifying who I am to you is not something I'd rush, 

Joining your small talks won't do, I'd just feel out of touch, 

Jazz Festival ain't my jam too, I'm sorry it just isn't my buzz, 

Jewelries are deceptive tools, I don't really care for such 'lux', 

Jealousy is not what I'd try to fool, it's too dangerous for us, 

Jolt me too much with your rules, that'll be the end of my trust.

Am I complicating myself too much? Perhaps I am, 

We make less than 1% of the population, like infinity gems, 

We are among the crowd, but aren't like the rest of them, 

But if you happen to be the lamp that fits our compatibility,

In time, you'll see what lies beneath the skin of me,

And it's not that so you'd get to understand my personality, 

It's because I'm looking for someone to grow in tandem,

Everyone needs a supporter from behind, loyal unlike Gollum, 

I can be your diplomat, I listen deeply with great warmth,

I can be your advocate, encouraging your growth to go forth,

It's the sort of friendship that transcends time over any oath. 

I still don't want the world to see me though,

Cause I don't need daily attention or to show, 

But I'm gonna be around just so you know, 

Whenever you need me, I'll be there for you high and low.

The Better You

As the new year approaches, 

We get excited making new year resolutions,

But after a period we then lose our execution, 

Why is this? Are we in a devolution?

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity. 

To seize everything you ever wanted, one moment. 

Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?

Time waits for no one as proven in this year's tragedies, 

like a thief in the night it can strike when you're not ready,

So don't wait for another day and put it on the line, 

Not doing anything productive is a crime, 

For everyone is given the same amount of time.

A new year is indeed a new start, 

But you're mistaken if it also means a new you, 

Instead, be a better you, 

Because you will always be better than yesterday's you, 

You can if your heart and mind wants to,

We can't reload our save point to start anew, 

A new you is a silly phrase and it's not the answer, 

Since we are already here why not be better?

My friends, we all have gone through our ups and downs. 

And it's in our human nature we tend to remember the bad more, 

Which explains why we can't seem to get up from the ground, 

My friends, we fall so we can learn to pick ourselves up from the floor.

Yes the world is cruel, 

But that does not mean we should let it rule,

So don't let yourself down too much, 

We are not alone in this, yes you and me, 

2014 will soon be just another memory, 

So be brave and bold, 

Not cowardly and cold,

In a few more hours, 

Tonight's the night the world begins again and better days will come. 

And it starts with you, a better you.

Happy New Year :)

The Jar

They say a heart is the size of our fist,

But an adult's one is as twice as that,

So what does that have to do with this?

They say this is a calming glitter jar,

Used for all ages, it soothes one's troubling thoughts,

You can start off by shaking it with a rawr.

Can you see it? The glitters are flowing of stars,

Altogether making it look like swirling galaxies,

It might help too if you have the song "Chasing Cars".

I know you will eventually be alright,

But I don't want you to fight it alone,

Hence the jar, so that "I" can be with you through the night.

This jar also represents my heart, 

Keep it safe and one day I'll show you the stardust above,

And like the stardusts above, hope we will never be apart.

The Commencement

So here I am at midnight,

Trying to think of what to write,

Actually I was suppose to do this hours ago,

But procrastination got the best of me,

And every second passing is making me sleepy.

So...congrats for graduating!

Isn't it one of the best feelings?

No more classes and plenty of rest,

But life isn't done giving you tests.

What does the future hold?

No one is certain for sure,

But it's either you sit back or be bold,

Coz there's a diff between a woman and a girl.

Don't be anxious about the future too much,

Even the most interesting people that I know,

Who are in their 60's still don't know,

Even though they have all the money,

Time got cruel to their knees,

And then succumbed into mid life crisis, scary.

I don't think I'm in the position,

To tell you what you should do about your life,

Because it's your life,

You're the director, the script writer, and the actor,

(or actress in you're a girl lol)

And I'm merely just a fan in the audience,

But I won't mind being your guidance,

Share I will with my working experience.

The race is a long winding road,

And it's not really about the end or the start,

It's the journey,

Sure there's no save point to reload,

A perfect alibi to protect your heart,

Though is that necessary?

Cause you know as the saying goes,

There's no gain without pain.

I guess that's enough from me,

I should really go to sleep,

Consider this as your graduation gift,

Not sure if it can give you a lift,

But I hope it's something you can keep,

Who knows? One day you'd be able to take the leap.

The Untitled Carol

Part 1

"Goodnight dearest." she said as she lay beside me,

Light switched off with my eyes just staring at the black ceiling, 

Time sure flies when insomnia's singing,

And by the time my eyes are finally closing,

My little baby girl started crying,

I looked at her and she was sleeping so peacefully,

I then got up and went to check on my little darling.

As the shadows fell back in the morning,

I went downstairs to have my breakfast,

And there she was in the kitchen preparing,

Dancing to a song playing on the radio,

The babysitter came early too and I let her in,

"Good morning! How is my little pudding~",

She excitedly passed by her and I,

And I resumed back on my cup sipping.

"Did you sleep well honey? <3" she asked,

I didn't reply as I was still chewing,

"She grows up fast doesn't she?

Sigh~ by the time you know it,

first baby steps…first baby words, bit by bit,

then all of a sudden, she learns to shout,

or she might become a girl scout,

and bam she's moving out,

you know…I hope that she'll-"

"Shut up."

…

I then walked out of the house and into the car,
Realizing I'm losing of what's fantasy and real,
This illusion of progress is all I can feel,  

For her presence lingers beneath my skin still,

From my rear-view mirror, clearly I can see her,
Smiling and waving, I wish I could do the same to you too girl,
But I can't anymore…for you are no longer part of this world.


Part II

"Where am I now?" I looked around and saw my employees,
"Oh right…now is a meeting." I snapped back to reality,
"Good morning, everyone! I can't wait to let you all see,
of our new theme for our next product line which is key!"
said Pride.
 As he proudly presented his presentation,
Seven colored rings were shown on the slides,
"We are targeting the young and happening market segment,
As you can see these fancy rings, 
They are following the colours of the rainbow!
With each name based on the seven deadly sins,
Don't worry, we're not naming them like the anger ring,
But it does sound opulent in Latin!" 

"Ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha…"
Fake laughters, fake laughters everywhere.

"Alright, now let me introduce you the names."
He proceeded to pronounce the rings' name steadily,
"First, we have Superbia, Avaritia, Luxuria, Invidia, Gula, Ira 
and…finally," 
He took a deep breath before finishing proudly,
"...Acedia. Thank you."

Employees around then gave him an applause,
"So what do you think, boss?"
asked Pride, with the ovation on pause,

"It's stupid."

…

"Are we trying to sell to rebellious 16 year olds?"
The one with the deep pockets are aged 40 & above!
Did anyone do any research at all?!"

…

"This is a terrible idea for our Christmas promotion.
You can all forget your Christmas bonus." I continued.
"But but but, we all met our KPI's!" said Pride,
"And increment, now get-out."
With that, the atmosphere within the room died,
One by one, they all went to hide.

"Boss, I know you're having a very rough time lately,"
said Lust as she suddenly whispered near my ear,
"If there's anything I can do, call me maybe."
Before she went out of the door, she turned and smiled devilishly,
"Anything."

From my door, I can see Envy being envious of Lust.
I can tell beauty and glamour to her is a must,
On the other hand, Gluttony enslaved himself with junk food,
After such tense rant, I guess he just wanted to relieve his mood,
And Sloth slouching on his chair, can't tell if he's being lazy or subdued.

"I need to get out of here." I sank down on my chair,
Feeling myself gasping for air in this nightmare,
I looked around on my desk and saw a picture,
It was a picture of you on a swing that I took in that park,

Without any second thought, I got up quickly and left this box-shaped cark,
Before I get myself consumed and confused again by the dark.

Parthree

Do you remember, smiling one?
This was the very same spot where I took the pic for fun,
Because you were being like a kid on that swing,
   And didn't want to go back home that evening,
To even push that empty swing to replicate the moment,
I knew at that point I was on the edge of being broken,
So I went to lie down on a seesaw nearby,
Just to keep the waterfalls from flowing out of my eyes.

After some time, I wondered why the swing hasn't stopped yet,
I looked behind and surprised to see a kid on it,
So I got up on my feet and asked the kid,
"Hey kid, you're alone? Your mom's gonna be worried."
"I don't have a mom." she said without feeling harried.

…

For some reason, I had a short flashback of how she passed away.
Due to an unfortunate car accident, back in last May.

…

"She died years ago."
"Well, I'm sure your dad must be wondering where you are."
"My dad doesn't know and doesn't care, so don't worry.
He's never at home and when he is…he's always angry.
I don't like to be home, everything is amiss.
Why did it become like this,
…why do I even exist?"

…

Where am I now?
"So have you decided on her name?"
Yes, that's right…it was before my love gave birth then,
It was a bit eerie looking at myself with her and bam,
It was time for the little one to come out and man,
Never felt so excited and anxious at the same time.

Every second felt like a millennia in the hospital,
Whispering small prayers for her delivery success,
Little by little it helped me to calm down my stress,
"Mister-"
"How's she?!" I interrupted him before he could finish calling,
"The baby girl's fine and your wife's stabilizing.
Congratulations!"

Yes, that's right…now I remember,
For He knows the plans He has for me,
Plans to prosper me and not to harm me,
Plans to give me hope and a future.
That's the reason of her existence,
That should be my reason to go to the distance.

…

"So, are you now ready to let me go?"
I wanted to say no but I know I had enough so,
Without saying anything at all,
I smiled and just looked at her on that swing again,
To appreciate the moment that was coming to end,
And like in the movies, she spirited away with the wind,
Her voice also no longer lingers beneath my skin.

Inevitably, I will and still miss her,
Even so I'm still blessed with my little girl,
Like your mother and Him, you're as precious as a pearl,
Kerrigan, you too can bring faith, hope and love to the world.

Merry Christmas =)

The Unknown

Evening my friends and family, why art thou still up at this late hour?

Since Halloween is still young, why not stay awhile and listen,

For I have a short tale to tell, don't worry it's not violent nor vulgar, 

Certainly no goosebumps while you read and getting your heart frozen.

It was night time then, I was in the backseat with my parents driving,

On the way to the church, cruising along the familiar Pujut neighbourhood,

And as usual, out of the window passing by the houses day dreaming, 

Keeping my mind to myself, peace and quiet it was all good.

Until a few seconds later…I had a sudden realization. 

Of what I saw a few seconds ago, causing some confusion.

Rewinding the images I had in my mind, even though it was for a split second, 

I still remember it vividly, something kinda weird I reckoned,

The house was kinda dark with the patio orange lights on half dimmed. 

Under the shelter, was a car. And beside the car was something grim. 

A woman in white,

Typical, isn't that right?

The woman was standing beside the car, facing the door, 

She had long black hair, all the way over her shoulders,

And all she did was just standing there on the floor,

Don't know what for, nor does her body looked sore,

But one thing for sure, she was as still as a royal soldier. 

"Ok…so that may be creepy but,

what's so scary about that?

It's not like she suddenly chased you like a swarm of gnats,

or like from that car scene from Shutter what." 

Indeed she didn't my friends, that'd be terrifying!

But remember that I said her hair was lengthly?

It was pretty long that I couldn't tell which way she was facing,

So that being said, that's really eerie if you ask me.

But then again it was dark and the car was moving fast,

Passing by that house within a second that didn't even last, 

It could have something else, like the only hanging pillow sheet,

Or a woman's white pajamas together with a black fluffy pleat,

Whether or not if it was just my scumbag brain playing tricks or treat,

Whatever it was I saw on that night at the backseat,

It kinda creeps me out every time I think about it.

So…yeah that's all of my bedtime halloween story bodyevery,

Happy Halloween :3

The Gift

The one you love can give you the most strength,

Can also leave you at your weakest,

And the love that inspires you to go such length,

Can also bring you down to the blackest,

So as our gift too.

My gift of remembering vividly and expressing through words,

Is not something everyone can do,

Through various art forms eventually, I can envision myself into many worlds,

Although imaginary, it feels wonderful, 

But sometimes...unpleasant.

Day 40, April 29th

I dreamed a dream when I was still in high school,

And you were by my side, so perfect,

Together with no words spoken, the world we already ruled, 

With you by my side, I will protect.

Then I suddenly dreamed I was in a grand prom, 

Everyone was there, but you,

I searched endlessly for you so I roamed,

In the end, they danced but us two.

Day 51, May 10th

I dreamed from where I left off, I was in a metropolis,

People, people everywhere,

Still no sight of you, my peace continued to cease,

  No air no air, such nightmare.

Day 90, June 17th

I then dreamed where I finally got a house,

In a countryside, the green grassy plains,

 Beautiful, just like how you wanted.

  I also dreamed an earthquake roared as quiet as a mouse,

In an instant, I heard you shrieking in pain,

Terrified, I've never felt so daunted.

And before the dream ended from being aroused,

In my delusion, I failed to see you again,

Let down, the cracked holes left me taunted.

Day 110, July 7th

I had a dream with my friends in a singing room,

Together, we sang sorrow,

And out of nowhere, you appeared by my side.

Eye to eye, as if we were staring at the moon,

Together again, we refused to withdraw,

With you by my side, our lips then softly collide.

Thinking back, I've always wondered what your kiss meant,

It felt so real and full of life, as if like it was God sent.

But why did it feel that it was the last goodbye?

I know I won't get anywhere if I try to ask why,
Even if you see me cry with your very own eyes,

As I know that was the very last dream about you,

Same goes to this poem too...

The last poem I'm ever writing being a lovefool.

So long.

The Seven

 A rainbow has seven colours,

But in actual fact there are many more others,

As our eyes are limited by four different receptors,

One each for red, green, blue and violet, no further.

Just like me, though I've met many attractive girls,

Only seven have made a difference in my world,

Like how guys would say “she's like a diamond to me.”

But in my case, I see their auras pretty differently.

First, there was light. She was the first to melt my frost armour,

I felt alive just as how the sun gives life to the flowers planted by a farmer,

She never fails to shine brightly whenever she flashes her smile,

It would make anyone run for her even if it was a thousand miles,

But like the distance between the sun and earth,

There were many just not good enough for her worth,

A decade long of chasing the unattainable dream,

A year long to build self-confidence through her gleam.

And a day to turn the rainbow, butterflies & falling petals,

Into skies of ashes, fake moths & paper flowers,

All she wrote was “We can't be together.”,

Though that time I was in the world of pain,

I adapted the bane and let it flow through my veins,

So to say, she was the first to make me crumble and fall,

Hey that's ok, because until today I still can't see her aura at all.

Lost my way, the black red thoughts blurred the rays,

For letting them roam that was the price that I had to pay,

Restless and no peace for me to lay, then came along a silver fay,

She's small and fragile, but it's so that she can sit on my shoulders,

To remind me to endure with the light in a mist of daggers,

So with her patience I stopped role playing the lone ranger,

So in return, I too, will look out for her if she faces danger.

So there was also this girl that I met in my first-year course,

Ever since then until now she became my right hand rose,

It's kinda funny coz back in high school she and I weren't that close,

Same goes to her too with her heart shut froze from foes,

Although both of them are the ideal girl that I'd like to have,

It's just that if I snatched her away I'd be convicted of theft,

And to pursue her out of bereft just wasn't right so I left.

Left to pursue somebody, someone like the sun to save my breath from death,

And true enough, through the dusk I was greeted by the stardust from above,

Enchanted then infatuated, I thought I was what she was looking for in love,

Blinded then disappointed, the feelings of going nowhere I quickly shoved,

But nonetheless, her stars still accompanied me through my continuous rove,

As a reminder not to lose hope no matter how hopeless it may seem,

As a reminder that I'm never really alone nor forgotten by Him.

I still remember you of course, and sometimes I wonder how you are doing,

Our past early mornings till the late evenings, the way we used to tell each other everything,

We had our cheesy moments and stings, but that was what strengthen our bond and feelings,

Despite a black wind took you away without letting me knowing why,

I just want to thank you for everything we went through even though there were no goodbyes,

I learn a lot about myself much better, I went through hell again to pick myself up again stronger,

I learn to love again with you, and thank you for the love you returned too,

You were the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, a painful blessing is what you were to me.

 So this ends my short story of the seven,

And how each step I got closer to heaven,

To the celestial six that I've mentioned,

This is how you ladies caught my attention,

Your power to bring us men to another dimension,

Out of love, we'd break our limits to a higher ascension.

Please don't ever stop shining :)

The Umbra

Someone once told a young man that,

“We've all got both light and dark inside us,

What matters is the part we choose to act on,

That's who we really are.” he said.

But how do we know if we are the dark just?

Or we secretly stand in the light of wrong?

Someone once burnt my soul so bad,

That it was then when my hollow-self was born,

The black rage resided itself within me,

It grew stronger till I stopped being sad,

Because by then the perfect sky was already torn,

And I accepted oblivion's embrace unconsciously.

Sometimes once in a while, I like taking midnight walks,

As I enjoy strolling through the dim lights in the alley,

With the soothing wind blowing and kissing my heart,

A time of reflection, a time of non-existing talks,

Would be nice to have company though like Jack and Sally,

But then again who is brave enough to journey in this shade of art?

Sometimes once in a while, a blackout would occur in this town of mine,

And the last time it happened, it lasted from dusk until dawn,

As night fell, the whole place was swallowed into the abyss,

Though some candles lit, I turned away not because I was blind,

But I felt whole again, as my apprehension was already long gone,

Whole again, as I returned to the form of essence which I missed.

Sometimes once in a blue moon, I would lay down and look at the stars...

Wait, what stars? They've never shown themselves to me in my blackest nights,

And if I wanted to see some lights, I would prefer to watch the world burn,

Watch the world burn for it brings me the warmth from my scars,

Watch the world burn for the people who gave me unfilled plights,

Watch the world burn for the wisdom, justice and love that I yearn.

Someone once shared a quote with me saying,

“The great thing to remember that,

Though our feelings come and go,

God's love for us does not.” she said.

Even so, I'm struggling and fighting hard from decaying,

But I guess the stars back then was to fill the hole,

Filled with its stardust, His creation I was in awe,

And why I wasn't meant for you...I guess someday we'll know.  

The Dragon

I wonder how many times has it been,

That I've imagined myself as death, destroyer of worlds,

Summoning suffer and pain while my face grins,

With my heart ever so joyous and keen.

An imagination of a child? No, it is not.

It's how everyone's head feels when it's hot,

Especially when you feel like punching your boss's face,

Or being abused for no reason from that horrible place,

Or when your patience just snapped releasing the rage.

Should I be like the fire?

The flame that hungrily consume everything in its path,

I may be slow in moving but I am full of wrath,

Especially when they scream in fear so intense,

Fueling me up scorching the heat bringing the menace, 

Like me, some men just want to watch the world burn.

Or should I be like the water?

The flood that rains down souvenirs of sadness of mine,

I may not be threatening at first but in time,

They shall be drenched in depression then drown in the abyss,

Icing their hearts with the frost of kiss,

Leaving them cold and restless makes me bliss.

Or maybe I should be like the wind?

The hurricane that blows and throws you like a rag doll, 

I may randomly move around and miss but when I don't,

They shall taste the twisting vortex of the tornado,

Ripping and silencing out their cries into nevermore, 

No...that's not enough, a thunderstorm is needed to strike your soul.

Or perhaps I should be like the earth?

The quake that violently shakes your pride and foundation,

I may not grab you in the air but how long can you hold?

Forced to watch those around you crumble the young and old,

 Falling into the mouths of tremors collecting tolls,

Even the haven you're in shall tremble into the black hole.

But in the end no matter how many times I envision it,

I just could not deliver my vengeful spirit,

and I choose not to,

For my perseverance and patience withholds me from self-destructing,

It's for the sake of my heart to be joyous and keen.

The Memorandum

Whatever reason you did that to her,

Is unforgivable and selfish, 

Everyone is wishing you will suffer,

Like getting dragged by the flames below,

Or get tortured in the abyss of hollow.

An idea of a remorseful punishment for eternity,

Is that her face will forever be in his memory, 

So it can haunt him as long as he breathes,

Even in his afterlife it shall not go un-seethe.

However keep this in mind my friends,

You must not hold dearly of this pain,

Move on and live so you won't meet the end,

I am a Christian so I should not condemn him,

And pray that God bless her soul and his sin...

...At least that's what I think she would want.

The Silencer...The Rage

So cold...I hated it,

I hated that he made those four frozen walls,

Even though he didn't really need it,

I sighed because he was still young afraid to fall,

But maybe one day he will need my help,

So I waited inside his frosted heart to melt.

So long...I held it,

I held all the red thoughts from his sounds of silence,

Stubborn about the mistakes you won’t admit,

Yet you always try to fit into the residence, 

Damn boy, don’t you see you’re fooling yourself?

Stop craving for attention you wannabe elf.

So lost...I felt it,

I felt that he was at his limit of the edge,

With hope crushed sinking in the pit,

I had to pull himself together over the ledge,

But even so, he still refused to acknowledge me,

So foolish! What is it that he still can't see? 

SoFool…he named it,

He said it was for GunBound but I think otherwise,

But then again he started to change bit by bit,

I guess he learned something from the thorns and lies,

Well what’s life without pain right?

Come to think about it…this room has become really white. 

So far…he’s living it,

For so long being the silencer roaming around,

With many thoughts of “I quit.”

He didn’t because I won’t back down,

Now redeemed and headstrong,

I can let go all of the rage and move on.

The Sentimental

If a person is happy a smile is formed on the face,

But if the person is sad then a frown comes with pace,

Emotion is often portrayed on our surface,

And also a place for our sentiment tones,

But do feelings have any shape of its own?

If feelings have a shape I think it could look empty,

It could look like your soul or my white room,

I tasted it before like when you have no will left,

Bereft of your life is what it feels like being death,

Sometimes people just want to get away from it,

So they space out and create their own world,

To hide from their insecurity of being weak,

It’s only natural that people are like pearls,

Like our hearts so vulnerable unlike a tree’s teak,

Well, I guess in the end we are only human.

If feelings have a shape I think it comes in many forms,

It could look like a hand clawing out of its soul,

With black flames devouring & out of control,

I saw it when I was writing my 17th poetry post,

Looking back seven of them were about you,

I wrote about how I loved you the most,

But this time there is no reason to,

Because all hope on you is lost…

Or maybe I didn’t have any hope to begin with.

If feelings have a shape I think it could look nostalgic,

It could look like burnt wings behind your back,

With feathers scattered around ash black,

I know whenever I paint these white black poems,

Looking back all of them were quite sentimental,

About how one longs for someone to come home,

How one’s paranoia makes the mind go detrimental,

And how small the hope is just by talking through a phone,

It happened to you before too didn’t it?

If feelings have a shape I think it could look optimistic,

It could look like a small flower popping out,

Trying to reach out to the sunlight,

Even though it is rooted deep in the blight,

I felt it before too like you & everyone else,

Looking at the past & never moving forward,

Wishing to stay behind in your fairy tale,

But nobody has the power to go backward,

So why don’t you just fly with the gale?

And let the wind bring you to a better tomorrow.

Now wouldn't you like to do that with me?

The Light

Hey…have you seen a light in that special someone?

Just by looking at her your heart feels warm,
No speaker box around & your head is playing a song,
Under a 'love at first sight' spell by her wand,
But just how beautiful it is of 'the one'?

Before there was light,
Our world was a starless night,
Peaceful yet empty with the moon’s absence,
That cool breeze kissing your heart,
Making you think you have a missing part.
Such nonsense…what essence?
You were never alone from the start,
Because around you there are many fireflies,
But you’re too afraid to touch them,
Especially of getting hurt from bright lies.

Instead of cutting ties burying it in the sand,
You should stretch out your hand,
And take hold of that small graceful ‘firefly’,
No matter how small it is drowning in the dark,
It’s more than enough to light a spark.

When it does the stars will twinkle,
As the night will become a new dawn,
Black skies burned radiantly by the sun,
Rays of hope flashing your fears unable to spawn,
Won’t you agree that at this time of the day,
It has a very beautiful view in its own way?
But that’s just only a piece of heaven,
Let alone your heart being taken.

…sigh,
It would be really nice...

To return to that paradise.

The Dreamer

After he & his friends had fun,
It was time to call a night instead of grabbing a bun,
And so they left waving goodbyes,
Left him in his car staring at his cell phone,
For some reason he just wanted to hear her,
So he dialed her numb3r for a try.

They chatted & got to know what’s been happening,
They seem to have a good time spending an hour crapping,
The day after tomorrow they continued flirting,
Soon after that it literally became a dream.

Dream? What dream? Like a fantasy?
Like the obsession of the hardcore in their virtual world?
Or the ones who hide in their rooms controlling puppets,
to go outside the world of perfection?
Or escaping into a living body abandoning your
legs that is unable to function?

It’s actually none of the above,
What he’s enjoying is just a one sided love,
I wonder how pathetic can he dig further,
By painting his stupid smile with laughter.
Tell me you fool, are you ever gonna wake up?
Even though you know it’s a fact,
Yet you still throw yourself in this stupid act.

I guess it’s the same as saying,
A person getting him/herself with drugs,
It feels good yet it kills,
Like the life of his is now a mirage,
Tell me you fool, what benefit do you get?

He then looked at me & said…

“Everyone has a dream,

The dream to reach to the top, the dream to find the one,
Sadly all these are just a flop, as in reality there is none.”

“So let me dream what I can dream in this real fantasy,
And when I wake up from this, I can look back and say…
that was a nice dream.”

…hmp seriously you're a fool, really...

But yeah, that was a nice dream.