The Eighth Note

Hello again boys & girls, ladies & gents, men & women,
If I could actually have some of your time & moment,
I have return from a long voyage with another story to tell,
Of how people are searching for themselves along their own rails,
And about me coming back from where I fell as well.

For years everyone has been searching who they really are,
Tattoos, body piercing, cussing & smoking like a superstar,
People get them to stand out so they can be different,
A reason of in a search of their identity self,
They abandon their childhood soul on a shelf.
Despite the fame & fortune they receive along the way,
Once in awhile they’ll feel something missing in their life,
Was it happiness or love? Well there’s no definite answer I say,
Because a berzillion people can have a berzillion different answers,
Thus they can also be a berzillion different trump cards to play.

For eight years I’ve always felt there was something missing,
At random times I would be loathing in depression over nothing,
Simply drawing random black & white pictures unconsciously,
I actually never thought that it could be made into a story,
Before I knew I have already paint out a pair of trilogies.
With new images popping out every semester,
I wonder how long I will be putting the pieces together,
I guess it won’t end so soon so it’ll probably go on forever,
Forever in my mind & soul these arts I will treasure.

At the eighth year there was the eighth note,
Like a glass I broke down like the shattered dragonfly,
It felt like the end of the world with no goodbyes,
I got slapped really hard and I only had two options,
Which is either to grow new wings or let my heart be frozen,
Little did I know that these wings were from the shelf,
Covered in dust I felt happy & disappointed at myself,
Happy that I finally found what was missing all this time,
Disappointed that I refuse to nurture it & make it shine.

This year my direction course is slowly changing,
Where am I going? I don’t know…my God is steering,
Chilling at the backseat depending on Him to do the driving,
So boys & girls, ladies & gents, men & women,
I guess this is all I have to say,
I got to go now because I have a game to play,
Thanks for reading & have a nice day.

The Dragon Fly

When I opened my eyes…there you were,
In front of me but not knowing who I am,
Because I had a mask on hiding from her,
The same one--sided smiley mask I’m sure.

Many thoughts ran through my mind,
Like what did she hear from his lines?
Or does she even know that mask is mine?
Well doesn’t really matter, everything seems fine.

But one thing that occured to me is that,
When my mask fell off I became so frighten,
I even had to hide from you under the mat,
Our distance was so distant at that moment.

Unexpectedly you still came to see me,
Despite knowing within me lies a malice,
You just stood beside me…instead of saying farewell,
Then I realized my dream has something to tell.

Where have you been all this while?
Or was I too blind to see…
That you have always been behind me?

Why didn’t I take you with me?
Was it because I was ignorant…
Trying to act tough like a tyrant?

How did it become so beautiful?
Despite being thrown aside…
The wings refused to divide.

Whenever I stretch it out widely,
I am confident & headstrong,
Whatever problem may come I will take them on.

What have I become with these wings,
Is truly a gift & blessing from the Heavens,
For it allows me to fly away from that cavern.

I guess this is what a new hope feels like.

The Longing

What is this place again..?

Oh...the black snowflakes,

It’s the time of year again,

When the air gives you…a sense of longing.

Someone once told me about that

saying birds can fly freely anywhere,

But if there was no place to rest their wings,

They might regret being born with that blessing.

A bird like that with no place to go,

Is like a person living a boring life behind a wall,

Unable to climb over or tear it down…

Is this because he doesn’t have a goal?

A boy like that living for himself,

Actually prefers the moon over the sun,

He probably doesn’t realize how colourless his life is,

But he probably felt there was something he missed.

A loner like that living alone…

under his snow covered home,

Is no different from a workaholic,

Because once in awhile he probably

wished there is somewhere to go to…

And someone to come home too.

A single person like me

is just like a snow covered tree,

Because at this time of the year,

It makes your mind all so clear,

That you need someone so dear,

For new leaves to bloom instead of tears.

My Insomnia

Recently when I go to bed...
I just can't sleep for maybe an hour or so.

Every night my mind just replays my
young days when I was in St Joe.

I feel like my skull has already burst with those red thoughts.

You know the usual, "If only I did this, if only I did that."

Things would be really different if I took another road.
But even if I did...will my character be like today?

Definitely not.

The future is sure scary when you don't know what's coming.
I mean, anything can happen right?

But I guess that's what makes life kinda fun sometimes...
because it's unpredictable.

Not unless if we go on our lives with the same routine everyday,
it gets meaningless doing the same thing over & over again.

Even though I do know what's my purpose on this filthy planet,
I'm being held back by all this crappy uni work.

I bet working people do feel the same too,
they wake up, go to work, eat, work again
& come back to do whatever they want.
What a boring life.

Maybe not for couples...
because they give each other love to go on,
but just for how long?

Couples that seem impossible to break is not surprising anymore,
I've seen plenty around my friends.

Come to think about it...
everything we do here is kinda useless,
Cause those things can't come with us.

Does God even care what you do in your daily lives?

Yes of course, He does love you after all.
Like any couple the boyfriend will always want
to know what did his girlfriend do today right?

...thinking more about this makes me feel dull,
maybe because I don't have anyone to share my life with.

...except God. *cough*you stalker*cough*

But I also guess this what my bro talked about,
when you do something for someone,
your life feels more complete.
...and more joy.

Kinda brings back all my silly crushes in my school life.

If my life have a save & load function to correct my mistakes...


I could/would be with her until now...

I could be one of the top students in St Joe...

I would have be more G.S. earlier...

I would have gotten my driving license earlier...

I could be one of the leaders in the prefect board...

I would have written proper english in my first blog...

I would be the AFC captain for 4 straight years...

I would have taken up Bible Knowledge for SPM...

I would have played other music
instruments besides guitar earlier...

I could have been in the english drama team...

I would have pwned every runner in
the 100m track race for 5 straight years...

and a lot more...but lastly,

I wouldn't have to dream about her almost every night too...
it haunts me, really...actually even if she was with me.
I'll prolly dream about her almost every night anyway.


But on second thought...I'm glad there's no save & load function,
because I can laugh about it when I grow old +)

The Uncoloured

Imagine yourself alone in a light-less hall,
With all the doors and windows shut,

Not even a spark of light or wind,
Do you feel...small?

As you sit in the middle of the ground,
You will feel small when you look around,
As if this room has consumed you,
And there you will see the five voids of life.

It starts with one thing in your heart
when you are in that dark mood,
Everything you see is colourless,
Lifeless to your eyes are the spring & wood.
This stage is called darkness.

When you lurk in the darkness for too long,
You try to search for light just like any sad song,
Any failed attempts make you lose hope,
Then along the way greeted you are by despair,
This is only the prequel to the nightmare.

Then came along emptiness you will meet,
Your heartbeat then will slowly lose its beat,
Making you emotionless...like a machine,
As if your soul was blown away by the wind.

Going under & deeper in the dark,
You will be lost...but not to your cark,
Just like a child who got lost in a mart,
Scared & insecure...you felt it before didn't you?

Now of all the five voids together,
Loveless is the blackest of them all,
And also the greatest sadness as well,
The need of to be loved will swell,
Assimilated you are in your own dead cell.

...yeah I know,
I never knew that hell could get so cold.